


Broken

by Trixie_Baggins



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Also it's like 2:30 so if there's typos let me know, Broken, Brokenness, Emotional Hurt, Emotional pain, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character, Spoilers, What are you going to do about it?, Yes I called Meg a, broke, it hurts, so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 07:30:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11595840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trixie_Baggins/pseuds/Trixie_Baggins
Summary: Meg Masters was a demon and a very broken individual.Castiel was an angel but also a very broken individual."





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> **Broken, adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> 1\. having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or working order.
> 
> 2\. (of a person) having given up all hope; despairing

Angels aren’t born.  They are created.  Angels are not capable of love, save for the One who created them.  They are asked to love and serve their Father.  Contrary to popular belief, Lucifer actually did this the best.  He loved his Father, unconditionally.  And when his Father asked him to love the lesser creations, the mortals, humanity, he could not.  Thus he was cast out for doing only what was asked of him.

 

Some angels love and serve their Father by loving and serving his creations.  They followed his instructions to care for humanity.  In a way, they were both better and worse than the Morning Star.  

 

Anna didn’t love humanity.  She loved the idea of them.  She loved their free will.  She envied their choice.  When she met Dean Winchester, she was attracted to his rebellion.  She was attracted to everything that made him human.  And perhaps, she thought, that that was what it felt like to be free.  Perhaps that is what it meant to love a human.

 

Gabriel loved his Father’s creations.  He loved humanity, but he also loved his brother.  When Lucifer was cast out of heaven, Gabriel left, realizing for the first time in his long life that he could choose.  So yes, Gabriel loved the mortals his father created, and yes, he loved his brothers and sisters, but more than anything, Gabriel loved himself.  And that is why he left.  He loved his brother enough to show solidarity with him, but he also loved himself too much to take any action too drastic.

 

Michael loved his Father, and he loved the mission given to him.  After his Father left, Michael began to love the mission more than the one who gave him the mission.  His identity started to revolve around completing the mission.  As long as he had a purpose, Michael could exist.  Thus when the Winchesters took that purpose away from him, Michael, the Archangel, ceased to exist as he had been known for millennia.

 

Raphael wasn’t like his brothers and sisters.  He didn’t love them the same way they loved each other.  He didn’t love their mission.  And really, he didn’t even love his Father.  He loved the power that his Father gave him; he loved the reverence that was awarded him as an Archangel; he loved the control that completing the mission gave him.  

 

It is a commonly known fact that demons cannot love.  Demons are the result of death and desperation.  Existence as a demon is payment for having a desire fulfilled.  They cannot love for that is far too pure for their intentions.  They can enjoy things, like pain and death.  They can even, extremely rarely, find happiness in some things.  

 

Meg Masters was an interesting character.  She had been trapped in an abusive relationship until her neighbor had told her she knew a way to get out.  Meg had made a deal with a crossroads demon to save her and help her find love.  She got out of the relationship, but her soul had been sold.  She was on the way to becoming a demon, and accordingly she could not love.  Not that anyone would love her, even if she found someone she could love.

 

Castiel….Castiel was a complication.  He did everything his Creator asked of him.  He loved his Father, and his Father’s creations.  He supported, fought with, and fought for his brothers and sisters.  He cared for and looked after humanity.  Castiel was all his Father ever wanted, so it hurt the most, and was the most surprising when he left.  His Father had believed that Castiel was the perfect angel, and yet he chose the very same humanity he had been asked to love over his Father.

 

And then something happened and Meg Masters and Castiel found each other.  

 

Meg Masters was broken beyond repair. Heartbroken.  Mentally broken.  Morally broken.  Even physically broken - the fact she was a demon was the only reason she was alive.  Her soul, or what she had left of one, was completely shattered.  

 

Castiel was broken, more broken than he or anyone thought.  The fact that he gave everything that he had to people who eventually walked away would shatter anyone.  He gave up his life to serve his Father and his Father abandoned him.  He walked away from his Father for Dean, and Dean kicked him out of the bunker.

 

But Meg.

 

Meg didn’t deserve Castiel.

 

No, wait.

 

Castiel didn’t deserve Meg.

 

Meg stayed for Castiel.  Meg loved Castiel.  Castiel left Meg.

 

It was ironically poetic.  

 

Everyone Cas loved left him, and he left the person who loved him.

 

Meg didn’t see him leave, but she knew he was gone.  The backseat of the Impala was empty.  The good guys won this round, but she had nothing left.  Nothing left to live for.  Her angel, her unicorn had left her.  But he was safe, and that’s all that mattered to her.

 

She didn’t deserve him anyway.

 

She smirked for him one last time before Crowley’s angel blade hit her heart.

 

Cas thought about Meg Masters.  Maybe he was right the first time.  Meg didn’t deserve him.  She didn’t deserve all of the complications and the heartbreak that he brought with her.  She didn’t deserve his brokenness.  She didn’t deserve his abandonment issues, and she definitely didn’t deserve to be abandoned.

 

Meg Masters did not deserve Castiel.

 

Castiel did not deserve Meg Masters.

 

He didn’t deserve her protection.  He didn’t deserve her loyalty or her smile or her sacrifice.  He didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of the love she managed to scrape together.  Meg Masters knew that Castiel didn’t deserve her.  Didn’t deserve her trust issues and her brokenness.  

 

After Meg’s death, Cas was even more broken than he had been before.  Once again, the person he cared about had left him.  But what hurt even more than that, was the fact he knew that she left because he left her.  She died because he wasn’t there to save her, and that hurt more than anyone leaving.  

 

Meg Masters was a demon and a very broken individual.

 

Castiel was an angel but also a very broken individual.

 

But for one glorious moment they had each other.  For one absolutely amazing instant two broken individuals healed each other.  In a second euphoria, they were whole.  They made each other whole.

  
  
  
  



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